A Zen Buddhist teaches all how to reach deep and accept – NJ.com

Angel

New Member
a-zen-buddhist-teaches-all-how-to-reach-deep-and-accept-nj-com.jpg

Haemin Sunim, a Zen Buddhist teacher, was educated at Princeton University, among other institutions. Sehyen Jo

“Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a World Striving for Perfection”

By Haemin Sunim

(Penguin, 259 pp, $24)

By now, those good intentions about hitting the gym, eschewing processed food and learning Italian are likely relegated to the 2019 resolutions heap. They rest atop the uncomfortably tight gym gear, an empty cookie box and that unopened app that promises fluency if you practice 20 minutes a day.

Don’t despair, though. It is still January, and some resolutions, such as the path toward better understanding and happiness do not require planking, a newfound appreciation of kale or stressing the right syllable for proper accents. Revelations about how we think, and how to view the world, ultimately, can affect any other resolution, and gentle lessons on how to do so can be gleaned from the comfort of your couch.

“When we examine our lives, we see many imperfect things, like motes of dust on an old mirror. There are all kinds of things that leave us feeling dissatisfied and unhappy. … And yet, even though we find many such imperfect things in the world we live in, we cannot help but love them.”

This book helps explain how and why.

Haemin Sunim, a Zen Buddhist teacher who studied at Princeton University, has written a heartfelt guide to living. That sounds far more egotistical than he or it is. The book can be read by opening up to random pages, though it is worthwhile to read it as one would a novel.

And let’s dispense with the obvious criticism. In an age of memes, these are ready made. A refrigerator magnet, postcard or T-shirt could easily hold many of his lines. Yet that does not diminish their truth.

“The sacred spirit
dwelling inside me
salutes the sacred
spirit dwelling inside
you.”

The book’s logically organized chapters begin with self-care, and include family, empathy, relationships, courage, healing, enlightenment and acceptance.

The top bestseller in Korea last year, Haemin Sunim’s book is a treasure as it offers guidance on how to be compassionate with yourself and others.

Among the many lessons in here is acceptance, as Sunim explains how love and hate can co-exist.

There is also plenty of practical advice:

“However close a relationship is,
some questions are better left unasked:
“Why don’t you lose weight?”
“Why aren’t you married yet?”
“Why did you get divorced?”
“Why aren’t you working?”
Please, keep those thoughts to yourself.”

That passage alone could likely save marriages and friendships.

Sunim mentions pop culture, and quotes from Jim Carrey and gleans a lesson from the 2015 Robert De Niro, Anne Hathaway film, “The Intern.”

He notes what seems like such a tiny gesture, but it’s representative of so much, such as thinking of others, being aware of their needs and offering what may be a token but lets someone know that he or she is not alone.

The author, who has a Twitter following of over 1.1 million, notes how De Niro’s character carried a handkerchief “not only for himself but for anyone he meets who might need one.”

Much of his wisdom, and please check your cynicism at the door, is about recognizing that your feelings are legitimate and so are other people’s, especially if you don’t agree with or even like the person.

As many of us bemoan the lack of civility we are besieged with, this is a beautiful guide to being kinder, more polite and along the way even unlocking higher thoughts.

Writing this on the day celebrating the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., it’s fitting to note that Sunim also addresses dignity.

“The way to avoid becoming servile before others
who have power, fame, or money
is to be happy with your life.
If there is nothing you need from these people,
You can be confident and dignified with whomever you meet.
When you want something from them, you become servile.”

Like any religious tract or philosophy tome, some of this feels self-evident – until you dig deep and genuinely consider his words. Though many of us, and I am a culprit, tend to race through books, this is one that you want to linger over, hold onto, keep on the nightstand. It can, and should, be opened regularly.

Thank you
https://www.nj.com/entertainment/2019/01/post_77.html
 
Top